Postpartum Sex and Fixing Painful Sex after Baby
Stretching your pelvic floor out after birth- this seems counterintuitive, right? After all, your vagina was just stretched to its limit so you are probably wondering WHY in the world would you need to stretch it after giving birth?!
Generally speaking, this information typically applies to women who had more trauma to their pelvic muscles with birth. You may need to do some intervention on your pelvic floor muscles if you experienced tearing and/or an episiotomy and particularly if a vacuum or forceps was needed to bring baby into the world. Mamas who ended having an emergency c-section after pushing for some time— this applies to you too!!
Other signs you may benefit from some work on your pelvic floor include:
pain with penetration, thrusting and/or tampon insertion
pelvic floor (clitoral, vaginal, perineal, anal) pain in general
liberally using personal lubrication does not seem to completely help. Postpartum mamas and especially breast-feeding mamas have lower levels of estrogen— leading to vaginal dryness. Using lubrication is often essential but often not the complete answer to postpartum sexual pain
Your pelvic floor gets stretched to its max during a vaginal birth and then typically responds by spasming in response to the pain.
Instructions and tips for stretching your pelvic floor (vaginal) muscles after birth
You can start the following program around 12 weeks postpartum
Use your finger.
You can insert your pointer finger or thumbs into your vagina. Wash your hands before and make sure your fingernails are short so you don’t scratch anything. Lubricate the finger(s) you are going to use with a water based lube- my favorite is slippery stuff.
Insert your finger 1-1.5 inches inside your vagina. Imagine your vagina as a clock (6 is down toward the anus and 12 is up tossed the clitoris). Slowly massage the lower half of the vagina using a U shaped motion. Press down toward 6 o’clock and back and forth from 3 to 9 o’clock until you feel a slight burning, stretching sensation. Do this for 2-3 minutes max. Focus on relaxing your muscles while you do this and practice using your diaphragmatic breathing. Repeat with your finger more deeply inserted.
Use a vaginal dilator
Just like with the finger, you can imagine your vagina as a clock. Push the dilator down towards six o’clock and work it from 3 to 9. Push and hold for a few seconds at 3, 6 and 9 o’clock.
Enlist your partner to help
You can also have your partner help you with this! Have them use their index finger and follow the same instructions above, using their index finger and lubrication. Make sure you have good communication if you are going to do this and please let them know if it is causing you pain. Again, you should just feel a slight stretching/burning sensation but shouldn’t be painful.
WORK YOUR SCAR
To perform scar tissue mobilization, pinch the surrounding skin near the scar in your fingers rolling it in different directions. Up/down. Left/right. Right diagonal/ left diagonal. You can also “twist” stubborn areas to get them moving. Use your three middle fingers and place them over the scar. Rotate them clockwise and counterclockwise. Look for which directions cause movement restrictions when areas are stubborn. Once you find the restriction, keep holding it and take three deep breaths. When you do this, see if the scar softens and try to move the scar further into the restriction. It is crazy how much more movement you can get!
Have sex
While this doesn’t actually “stretch it out”, it really is an important part of the process of your pelvic floor healing. Delaying sexual intercourse indefinitely for fear of “injuring” yourself is not necessary for the vast majority of women. When you are physically able, it is great to be able to resume sex with your partner! It may not feel quite the same at first, but should get rapidly better with subsequent sexual encounters.
Find a Pelvic Floor PT
As always, if you are uncomfortable with stretching out your own vagina we recommend that you find a pelvic floor PT to help do this for you. IF YOUR SEX ISN’T RAPIDLY GETTING BACK TO NORMAL, ANY PELVIC FLOOR PT WILL GLADLY HELP YOU WITH THIS!! See the bottom of the page for links to PT locators and help from E&E.
